emotional wreckage

The rest of my weekend with my family upstate flew by as it always does. Saturday night my parents and I went to a chinese/sushi/hibachi buffet that I used to love! I hadn’t eaten chinese food in almost a year and it had been sounding so good for months. I had a feeling it would make me sick because it’s fried and greasy and I can’t handle food like that anymore, but this was pretty extreme. Luckily this buffet offers sushi and plenty of healthy options, and I was surprised that once I looked at the unhealthy options I only wanted a tiny bit. Most of my plate was broccoli, rice noodles, sushi and then some general tso’s chicken that I used to eat pounds of back in the day. 3 bites later, I was doubled over in pain. Fried foods hit me really fast and I wasn’t able to eat any of the sushi I had on my plate. Back at my parents, I was on the couch ready to hurl but had to go to my mom’s best friends house to see her daughter off to homecoming and curl some hair. I took Tums for the first time, and they really didn’t do anything except make the pain slightly bearable long enough to curl a head of hair and head home. I went to my grama’s house for the night and we talked, laughed, and watched Law & Order repeats. I love this woman more than I have ever loved anything in my life!

I got a good night of sleep and woke up feeling better. I always make breakfast for my grama when I’m home because she lives alone and only eats doughnuts and coffee for breakfast. Don’t worry, she loves this; but when her health crazed granddaughter is in town she eats what I make her eat πŸ˜‰ I made us cheese omelets with whole wheat potato bread (best bread ever!) and plenty of ketchup and orange juice.

We relaxed and watched more TV until we got hungry again. I have to have pizza when I’m home, so I headed to Nirchi’s to get us some slices. Pepperoni for her, and honey mustard chicken for me.

I had the coolest encounter at the pizza place. The girl working recognized me and said she reads my blog all the time! I was literally about to jump up and down with excitement. If you’re reading this Emily, you totally made my day! πŸ™‚

After showering and packing my clothes that I drag all the way upstate to wash because I loathe the laundry mat… we had a nice Sunday dinner like old times before I caught the bus back to NYC. Sunday dinner at my gramas has been going on since I can remember, and every Sunday that I’m not there I miss it terribly. We had roasted chicken, stuffing, and my grama’s heart-attack inducing macaroni and cheese. I’m positive she uses a whole stick of butter, but she would kill me if I didn’t eat it! I happily obliged πŸ™‚ We watched more TV (obvs a very lazy weekend) and before I left we all had some pumpkin ice cream! I love that Edy’s brand is all natural and 110 calories for 1/2 cup. It’s super creamy and you don’t feel guilty eating it.

On the bus back to NYC I cried for half of the ride. The guy I sat next to must have felt mighty awkward… sorry dude! I have been a serious emotional wreck lately. Usually I can shake the depressed feeling, but I haven’t been able to and I have been feeling extremely unmotivated. I keep trying to speed up the process, but I’m learning that I just have to let nature run it’s course and feel better when I am better. John met me at the bus station with a huge hug, and this morning before we left for work we had a super long hug while I cried my eyes out. I seriously cried at work too! I can’t pin point what’s going on, but I’m just not myself lately. I’m optimistic that I will feel better because things always work out. I started the day with a healthy smoothie in a bowl.

spinach, blueberries, almond milk, chia seeds, Fiber 1 & peanut butter

Walked to work and also walked for about 35 minutes on my lunch break while talking to my grama on the phone. I miss her badly already. Lunch was a random but delicious mix of egg whites, feta cheese, chickpeas and mustard.

Random but so good! I love mustard on everything. Snacks for the day were pumpkin seeds, a Glenny’s bar (so good and all natural) and greek yogurt with PB2 mixed in.

On my walk home, I was just at the end of the bridge path and about to walk up 178th Street when John jumped out and apparently tried to give me a stroke… but really he surprised me to walk me the rest of the way home πŸ™‚ I cried some more once I got home cause that’s how I’m rollin’ right now, but he said I should take a hot shower, put on my fluffy robe and blog while he makes me hot tea. I followed his orders πŸ˜‰ I’m going to make a chicken burger with broccoli and green beans and maybe some soup for dinner, followed by more hot tea and cuddling with that awesome boyfriend I have. It may not completely cure this slump I’m in, but it definitely doesn’t hurt!


1 thought on “emotional wreckage”

  1. Jen I love this one!! Its one of my favs! It shows all of us are human and we al go through some “ruts” in our lives from time to time. Some of the best advice you have ever gave me is listen to your body.. good for you for doing just that! I so wish we lived closer to each other! You are such an inspiration to so many people. I could never thank you enough for all you have done for me over the last 8 months. Love you girl! Hope you start feeling better soon! πŸ™‚

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