Crazies, Honesty and Tips!

I am currently blogging on my lunch break (yes, I lugged my enormous Dell laptop with me to work so I can update more frequently!) at Starbucks and there is a woman talking to the newspaper she is reading. She is nuts, and it’s why I love New York City! Never a dull moment 🙂

The new year has been great so far in terms of workouts and getting back on track with healthy eats. This week I have ran 3 times, went to 2 spinning classes and actually got a good amount of sleep! Tonight I am going to spin and tomorrow I’m planning on 4 miles and an early spin class. I am heading upstate tomorrow night for a belated Christmas celebration with my family and John’s and SO excited to get away for a few days. I am very lucky to have family just a few hours away so every few weeks I can escape… the city will eat you alive, but in a good way!

I faced the music the other morning and decided to weigh myself for the first time since September. It was also the first time I have weighed myself since I was caught in a 3 month binging cycle… I kept thinking I was back on track, but a day into it I would get overwhelmed with what was going on in my life in terms of work at the time and slip right back. It was really scary to me because I felt like I had lost all control after a year and a half of being so diligent and never slipping up!

The damage is exactly 15 pounds. This is not easy for me to write and be open about because it’s the first time in my weight loss journey over the last 2.5 years that I have gained more than a few ounces! But I feel like being open about it will #1 help others going through this to feel not alone and #2 keep me accountable. I have more than enough knowledge on how to get it off, but most importantly I now know what it takes to maintain. September was my first attempt at eating more than the bare minimum my body needs to survive especially with how active I am. 1500 calories scared me to death at first, and unfortunately I ended up going overboard too many times. Somewhere in there I found what my body can maintain on when I am at my healthy weight, or as one of my favorite blog’s Carrots ‘n Cake calls it: feel great weight. No 0ne has been able to “see” that I have gained, but my clothes are not comfortable at the moment! However, within just 3 days of healthy, clean eats and omitting sugar (except for my little splurge on C aitlin’s leftover cake pops last night!) I am feeling better. My clothes are a little looser and I know that some of that 15 poundage is really water and bloating. In reality, I’m sure it’s closer to 10 pounds. Either way, it’s coming off!

Next week I am going to start Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30 dvd. I have been doing 30 Day Shred off and on since the summer, and I think a new challenge will be fantastic for my body. My ultimate goal is to have lost the weight by my birthday in late March. I really don’t care too much about the number on the scale, I just want to make sure I’m toned up again! 🙂

I can’t say I’m happy that I gained this little bit of weight, but I am happy that I can learn from it and not let it get past 10-15 pounds! I have to remind myself that stress release does not happen by overindulging in food. It leaves me (and everyone) feeling guilty and horrible, which for some reason spirals into more binging- WHY is this?! A few things I do to get back on track with eating:

  • Up my coffee/tea intake. Coffee is a lovely appetite suppressant and makes for a good in-between or post meal snack. I drank 2 iced coffees with skim milk and splenda a day while I was losing the big portion of my weight. I like to buy yummy flavored coffees that actually make me excited to get out of bed, thus making me awake and ready for my early morning workouts! And luckily for me, my work has free coffee, tea and espresso 🙂
  • STRESS about veggies. This means going out of my way to make sure I am eating veggies at EVERY meal. Okay, not always at breakfast, but at least once or twice a week I like to start out with a veggie egg white scramble instead of oatmeal. I will admit this usually happens on a Monday after a weekend of indulging, when a light, high-protein meal trumps a carby comforting bowl of oats and peanut butter. But dinners right now are going back to leeeean and greeeen! Lots of spinach, green beans, edamame, broccoli and protein like tuna, salmon, turkey and chicken.
  • Drinking tea at night instead of any snack. I have a really hard time portion controlling anything, so for me to try to treat myself and have a little snack after dinner leads to binges. I am going back to drinking tea after dinner to signal to my body that eating is over for the day/night!
  • Having ONE cheat day per week. For the whole year I was losing weight, I allowed myself to eat anything I wanted on Sundays. That has always stuck with me up until my binge cycle started in September. I am going back to that because I learned that I am not strong enough (yet) to have little treats throughout the week. One day where I can indulge works for me, so I am going back to that! It really makes me stay on track all week knowing I have one day to blow off my strictness.
  • Talking to myself. Yeah, you heard me. You can put me in the category of the crazies who talk to themselves (or newspapers). Every time I feel an urge to binge, I am in my head asking lots of questions. Am I actually hungry? When/what was the last thing I ate? Am I feeling stressed or anxious? Food is NOT the answer and of course overeating is never the answer. I have to remind myself that I want to get back to feeling confident and fit, and these roadblocks are not worth the tons of extra effort it will take to burn off a binge. Plus, I am a total monster when I feel like crap about myself!

Like I said, admitting a weight gain is really hard for me but I want to help others who have been through this or are going through this. You will gain control if you just let yourself. It really helps to be honest and open to at least one other person. Once I finally told John what I was going through, he understood that I needed him to ask me if I was really hungry when I’m about to devour a box of cereal after I already ate dinner. Before that, he just assumed I was really hungry because “I work out a lot.” Haha he really is great and apparently thinks it’s totally okay to eat a box of cereal because you ran a whopping 4 miles that morning. But once I was honest about why I was doing it, it makes it easier to deal with it.

I hope this was helpful to anyone going through this. 2012 is going to rock for so many reasons, and my biggest advice is do not wait for the spring/summer to start getting healthy… it will be here before we know it! Get a head start on your entire life of being healthy and fit, not just for 1 season! 🙂


3 thoughts on “Crazies, Honesty and Tips!”

  1. Such a great post, Jen! When I was going through disordered eating and started trying to gain weight back, I went WAY overboard with calories. I was so used to just working to lose, that we forget how to be in maintenance mode! I’ve been working on getting back to a “feel great weight” (LOVE carrots ‘n cake!) this year, and can totally relate to this post! ❤ Keep it up girl, and props to you for having the courage to write a post that is honest and true for a lot of folks!

    1. AHH it really is so hard to balance! I was so under for so long that one time of going over just sent me into crazy eating mode, and most likely because i had been eating so little for such a long time! im really working on not depriving myself and losing at the same time, which is different from how i lost it the first time. so glad we can relate to each other! Now, a NYC meet up is a MUST asap!!! 🙂

  2. Great post! Just found your blog. I am in a similar spot. Thank you for sharing. I will be following you and I wish you well.

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