Anxiety :-(

Last night after my awesome day off, which ended with the most intense spin class to date and brought my cardio total for the day to over 2 hours (!), I went home to chow down. A plate of veggies with a little hummus and guacamole, and an ahi tuna fillet with butternut squash and edamame. It was SUCH a good combo!

I didn’t finish the plate of veggies but a little while later I had a piece of sprouted bread with Better’n PB and a banana. I was happy that it was in no means a binge; I felt genuinely hungry for carbs seeing as how I burnt over 1000 calories with my workouts for the day! 🙂

Unfortunately, 2:30 AM rolled around and I was still wide awake. I hadn’t fallen asleep yet, which is very unusual for me (I generally fall asleep before 11) and especially unusual after a 2 hour cardio day! I started to have really bad anxiety and it reminded me of how bad I used to get it every night almost 3 years ago. Luckily now I know to take deep breaths and talk myself out of an attack! For the next 3 hours, I tossed and turned with less than 20 minutes of sleep. I had to be up at 5:45 for work, which is when I finally fell asleep 😦 So one hour of sleep later and a head of dirty hair (today was supposed to be wash day), I took a 5 minute shower, grabbed my coffee and headed to work. The worst part? Today was an 8:00 AM to 7:00 PM work day. I felt hungover but missing the part of the fun, crazy night that caused it.

With no time to make breakfast, I had to hope that our meeting would have something healthy to eat. Luckily, they did! I had a whole wheat wrap with eggs, cheese and deli turkey. It was delicious, along with some kiwi and grapes. It held me over til noon when I was ready to eat my arm off. Lacking sleep = makes you hungry and in desperate need of carbs for an energy boost. I had the world’s smallest cup of plain granola and milk- it didn’t even fill up 1/4 of the paper cup! I also had to eat it with a fork?

I didn’t want anything big cause I had a lunch date with John and knew I wanted needed pizza. No sleep and an 11 hour work day = do the best you can. Pizza is the best you can do 🙂

This is the face John got to dine with:

I am the biggest, pouty, grumpiest baby on the planet when I am tired. But, a few small slices, a diet coke, and laughs later, I felt a little better!

(still tired and still had dirty hair) John also brought me an americano in hopes I could make it the last 4 hours of work. He is cute and knows what I need to try not to kill anyone.

Despite my exhaustion, I knew a little walk and a tanning session would end my day on a good note. I walked over a mile to my new tanning salon (review to come!) to get in a quick vitamin D bronze boost. So relaxing, so needed. I may be tired and still trying to lose 15 pounds, but at least I will be tan again which makes you look at least 5 pounds smaller 🙂

A co-worker told me today I look like I am losing weight but that I don’t need to! Best compliment ever. I haven’t heard that in awhile, and it was a big motivating boost!

That pizza at lunch totally held me over all day, and at 8:30 I realized I wasn’t hungry still! Since I was only at 1300 calories for the day and I want to workout tomorrow morning, I made a wheat bran protein pancake. In the mix:

1/2 cup wheat bran
1 tbsp ground flaxseed
1/2 scoop protein powder
3 egg whites
Splash of milk
Cinnamon

Mix together and cook like a pancake. This made two little fluffy ones and I topped them with blueberries, PB and sugar free syrup. Yum!

I do not believe in skipping meals especially if you are low on calories for the day. That road I went down for a year and do not want to go down again, even though I know I’d lose these few pounds faster. Not worth the misery!

Climbing into bed now THANK GOD! Goodnight!

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2 thoughts on “Anxiety :-(”

  1. Dear Jen,
    I have a birthday dress that I currently can’t breathe in and exactly a week to lose maybe 5ish pounds. Help!!! Willing to try whatever food/workout combo you suggest… although thinking Spanx may be the solution? What do you think — is there any hope for my almost-23-year-old self?
    -Caitlin

    1. Dear Caitlin,

      I love you. If you love me back, you will instantly lose 5 pounds. HAHAH But on the real, next week we are doing jillian Monday-Thursday, both levels and maybe try the new dvd! And you need to up the protein and cut back (not out!) the carbs 🙂 So lots of eggs/ egg whites, greek yogurt, salads, chicken! No sugar! And ill do the same since my dress is tight tooooo!

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