Hey guys! How was your Memorial Day weekend? It’s SO crazy to think that I’ve already been at my ‘new‘ job for a year now, and that this is my second Memorial Day weekend actually NOT working and getting to enjoy 3 days off.. still SO thankful for leaving retail 🙂
Friday night I was so exhausted for kind of no reason, so John and I went to dinner right after work and then fell asleep pretty early watching Louie C.K. Wild party animals. Saturday morning started with breakfast at the diner then we spent the day with Brenda and the baby! John went to a concert Saturday night so I had a wild night on the couch with some cheese-less Domino’s and a marathon of one of my all-time favorite series, Weeds. I am beyond obsessed with Mary Louise Parker and LOVE Andy! Any other Weeds fans? And no- I do not smoke pot! Just love the whole feel of the show.
Sunday morning I made my awesome breakfast bagels for John and I. I cook pretty dang good eggs and bacon if I do say so myself. Even John loves them, which is saying a lot. Mine was a whole wheat everything bagel with a jalapeno egg white omelet folded up, bacon, and a runny egg. PERFECT!
Followed by a healthier lunch of a super green juice with chia seeds. This had all organic kale, chard, spinach, ginger, green apple, cucumber and then topped with chia seeds. My seasonal allergies are absolutely horrible this year and the worst part is that they completely exhaust me. I constantly feel like I just ran a marathon this time of the year.. it’s awful. So trying to add more greens in hopes of feeling a little more alive.
After walking around Central Park we ended up downtown having dinner at this awesome BBQ joint- Mighty Quinn’s. Absolutely deeeelicious and perfect for a holiday weekend when we have nowhere to cook out (boo, NYC).
Yesterday morning I slept in, enjoyed some oatmeal and coffee then headed off to a super intense CYC class. So it’s a 45 minute class and I burn between 375 (slacking off) and close to 500. Keep in mind that 4 songs worth are spent barely peddling and using weights for arms- so it’s a REALLY good burn and even though the weights are light (range from 1-5 lbs) my arms are always sore.
After class I headed to Brenda’s to kick it with my favorite little gals. I love this baby sooo much!
And ended the holiday weekend with a little bit of froyo, a lot of cookie dough pieces. YOLO.
Hey there! It’s been a little while again but I’m still here! The biggest/best thing that has gone on since I wrote last is that my best friend Brenda (ya’ll know her on here by now!) finally had her baby a week ago today!! I got to be there for the whole time she was in labor (about 17-18 hours) and now her gorgeous little babe is here in our world. Of course we made our time at the hospital a blast…
And finally at 9:25 AM, Ruby came into the world!
She is absolutely perfect and I am so excited to start my journey as an Aunt! I also fell even more in love with Brenda watching her become a mommy. One of the most special moments of my entire life!
And on to other stuff…
I don’t want to go on about too much right now but lets just say I’m still dealing with anxiety. I am learning how to manage it/accept it/live with it more than I was. It’s a really hard, AWFUL process but I focus on each hour and just getting through it. I know this won’t last forever but it certainly feels like it is going on forever.
So while I am still on a hiatus from teaching Spin, I have been going to CYC at least 3 times a week and running here and there. Running is SO hard after taking basically all winter off and not being at all consistent. Here’s what my running is looking like right now (in the spirit of keeping it real)
I’m doing some run/walk intervals but nothing set- just running until my lungs feel like they are going to explode (thanks, allergies) and then walking a bit. Getting past 2 miles right now feels sooooo hard. A good friend said the other day to me that training for the first 3 miles is always the hardest when getting back into running and she is so right. Once I can consistantly/easily run 3 miles again, I’ll start training for longer runs. I don’t have a half marathon or any race at all right now planned until October, but I may try for a 5 miler at the end of next month. CYC is so amazing and hands down the best spin classes I’ve ever taken! They are so motivating and SO fun, plus super challenging but I can feel myself getting stronger. If you are in the NYC area, let me know if you want to try a class with me!
This past weekend was an absolute blast. John’s mom came to visit us and we took her to most of our favorite spots- of course you need at least a full week with us for us to take you to alllll of the best spots 😉 Friday night started with Patsy’s pizza and a walk down 8th avenue from 23rd to 14th St to show all the fun gay culture through Chelsea- she loved it!
Saturday morning we headed to brunch at Le Grainne Cafe, our absolute favorite place for french toast and delicious coffee. This is hands down the best french toast in the city.
We strolled through Chelsea Market and Union Sq, then I took a quick class at CYC and met back up with them in Soho at Harney & Son’s tea. From there we walked through Soho to a few other stores, then took the 6 uptown to show her Grand Central. I always forget how magical Grand Central is until I’m seeing it through someone else’s eyes!
It started raining so we cancelled our initial plan of walking from Grand Central to Times Square and just headed to dinner. We had to of course take her to our favorite, 5 Napkin Burger, as we take pretty much everyone who visits us!
Sunday morning we headed to one of our favorite bagel places, Absolute Bagel, on the Upper West Side. This is right near the gigantic cathedral on 110th st that we wanted to see. We’ve been past it a million times but never actually went in until Sunday! It is so huge. Definitely a must see here.
We walked all through Central Park and took the train down to the West Village to get Big Gay Ice Cream…obviously 🙂 We were pretty exhausted so we ended the trip by heading back uptown to Trader Joe’s and last but not least, Shake Shack. If you can’t eat red meat or cheese like me, they have chicken sausage dogs that are incredible!
According to my FitBit we walked about 10-11 miles total for the weekend!
Where to even begin? The last 4+ months have been living hell for me and I sort of don’t want to go down memory lane explaining how awful it’s been. But here we go- a quick recap of this shit so I can get into the positive stuff!
Anxiety is not just being anxious about something. Everyone experiences anxiety almost daily- if it weren’t present, we’d have no reason to hussle getting to work on time, or to go to the gym, or take care of our families. Anxiety fuels us to do things. It can sometimes come at times that are not needed though and out of nowhere. In fact, my life was going utterly perfect when this hit me. Ultimately through my 2 therapists (one in-person and one through TalkSpace which is an amazing service) and my pyschiatrist, we have concluded 2 things- I have bipolar depression (so was not expecting this) and the ‘mania’ I experience is crippling anxiety in a very high state, and that the culmination of everything that happened to me the last 3 years family-wise, personal life-wise and job-wise that I tried to bury and not deal with exploded out of me. Basically out of nowhere, but could have been triggered through the high levels of anxiety I had during the flights to and from Mexico and all the stress from teaching so many spin classes daily. When I heard the diagnosis, I cried so hard. I felt completely hopeless and terrified. I have been blessed with a very caring pyschiatrist who doesn’t care what it takes to get you feeling better, he will do it and help you. He saw me at the bottom of my depression a little over 2 years ago, helped me get to the amazing place I was in last year, and was very shocked when I took a nosedive in November. It took us over 4 months to get to this diagnosis, and we did it together. I discontinued the medicine I used for 2+ years and started a new one 2 weeks ago and there’s been a big difference. I won’t lie and say things are anywhere near awesome and that I am scared every day of things going south again, but somehow I dug myself out of the hole I’ve been trapped in and started living again. I gave up teaching Spin in early February and it was heart breaking to say the least. I’m not sure how I kept teaching during the highest states of my anxiety- pure will power I guess. It was making me feel worse so I finally had to stop. As my best friend Brenda reminded me 1000 times, teaching Spin will always be there- for now, it’s time to take care of myself and just keep working my full-time job where my bosses were nothing but supportive and helpful through this. It’s been 4 months of pure hell and terror and I would never have made it through if it weren’t for my wonderful John. Every single night he has let me do whatever I needed to survive- usually just crying myself to sleep- but he pushed me to go running a few times, helped me make food when I could barely get out of bed, texted me hourly to make sure I knew how much he loves me, and his undying support and letting me know that I would indeed get through this and he would be by my side. I have no way to ever repay him, but he is truly the best person in my life.
So, I only really have to catch you up on the last 2 weeks of my life where I have actually been LIVING again! One of the best things I’ve done for myself was sign up for a 10 week challenge through the most amazing cycling studio in NY- CYC Fitness. I have been basically doing nothing since mid-February exercise-wise so it was time to get back in it. Brenda is obsessed with CYC and I tried a class out last July 4th and it kicked my ass even while I was in great shape! It’s just SO much fun for 45 minutes and includes 4-5 songs where the resistance is up almost all the way and you use 1-2 lb sandbags for a few arm routines. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. Like I said, even last year when I was in great shape the arm portion killed me. I am not stupid enough to think 2 lb weights will tone my arms up since I have fat to lose on them since I was basically sedentary for a few months, but let’s just say I am REAL sore after class in the triceps! The challenge includes 40 classes (4 classes/week) that you complete by May 31st, and the package also included a bottle of VitaFusion gummy vitamins, and 10 blowouts courtesy of Glam and Go which is a blowout station INSIDE the locker room. How freaking genius right? I took my 4 classes last Wednesday morning, Thursday night, Friday morning and Sunday morning with Brenda for my birthday!
Blow out #1! LOVED it!
I am super excited for week 2 of the CYC 10-week challenge and to also be teaching for the first time in almost 2 months this week! I’ll continue my birthday post tomorrow and hopefully actually write a few times a week now!
I’ve missed you guys so much. Who out there is still reading?! 🙂
We still have some catching up to do so be prepared, this is looooong!
Basically my life is spent doing nothing but working. Luckily right now I love my jobs, but I don’t love cleaning, laundry or grocery shopping and I had to do all of the above on my 3-day weekend. But the weekend before was no work and ALL play, so lets get to that fun stuff first.
John went out of town for a few days so Brenda and I planned a romantic weekend together since we hardly get to see each other for more than an hour at a time these days. First up: seeing our favorite comedians from the show Broad City! Anyone watch that on Comedy Central? Well it’s hilarious and a very REAL depiction of what life is like in NYC when you’re a broke 20-something. They were performing at FIT along with Bevers from the show and Jason Mantzoukas because he is at literally every comedy show ever. The show was awesome and we were hurting from laughing.
On the way home I stopped and got myself a cheese-less pizza from Patsy’s to take back to my apartment and eat alone in bed. It was seriously glorious. I love John to death but sometimes you just need a night alone in bed… with pizza. Ya feel me?
I slept in Saturday morning and casually drank coffee and watched TV. I NEVER get relaxing mornings anymore since I’m always teaching, so this was much needed. In the afternoon I headed to meet Brenda at Whole Foods for lunch then we spent the rest of the day walking all over the park. Once we got back to my apartment for a sleepover (yes, were 11) we ordered cheese-less Domino’s (please don’t comment on my pizza addiction) and watched Blue Crush because we will always be wanna-be Surfer Girls.
Sunday morning we lifted a little before my spin class, then headed to my friend’s birthday brunch at Bagatelle. It was Pride weekend so we knew we were in for some fun. It started out innocently enough with rounds of Prosecco, then some appetizers, and the main courses. She had a pre planned menu and we all passed the dishes and ate what we wanted. It was the perfect amount of food because we all really wanted more champagne than food 😉
Then it got wild. Wild for 2:00 PM.
Superman bringing out champagne to another birthday girl. If this isn’t what your brunch looks like, you’re doing it wrong.
Gigantic ice cream towers with sparklers. Again, NYC brunch > all other brunches.
It was so fun and I hadn’t drank since my birthday so it was much needed. Brenda and I went back to my apartment for awhile and I was asleep by 8. Perfect weekend!
Last week my spin schedule was lightened and I was so grateful. I really needed some rest so the holiday weekend was perfect for it. My Thursday and Friday classes were cancelled, so I did a 3 mile run on Thursday then went to a CYC class on Friday morning. CYC is a boutique cycle studio (like SoulCycle except not a cult and less expensive) and Brenda loves it so I’ve wanted to try it for awhile. It gave me a run for my money, that’s fa sho. 45 minutes of crazy-ness including 4 songs where we turned up the resistance almost all the way so we weren’t moving our legs much and used 2-3 lb weights for back-to-back strength training. Sure that weight is nothing but it gets into your tiny little muscles and left me shaking! The founder of CYC, Keoni, was the instructor so it was a blast. He has the best energy and inspired me so much! It was nice to be the student and not instructor for once!
French toast, coffee and cuddling was next up for my 4th of July.
I alternated from my bed, my couch, and a lot of cleaning for the rest of the day. It was so nice to be able to catch up on life things that never get done because I’m always working!
Saturday morning was long run time with Andrea! This girl is going to be my saving grace for marathon training. The 3 miles I ran on Thursday were terrible, and while I still felt out of shape on Saturday it went much smoother. 8 gorgeous miles with the birthday girl!
Followed by my favorite brunch with John at Grey Dog!
Fried egg, turkey sausage and goat cheese on a croissant with sweet potato fries. YAAAS.
We walked around and got coffees and started to look for running sneakers for John becauuuuuuuuuse he told me he wants to start doing a little running with me. Yes, I almost died. I hope he sticks to it! 😉
What else? I ate fried chicken Saturday night. First time in like 4 years? It sounded so good, John loves it, and it was only $5. Long hair, don’t care.
Taught Spin yesterday morning with a little upper body lift before, then had an extremely active day that has left me very sore today. Started with a nice walk to get an acai bowl at The Juice Shop in Flatiron. Highly recommend this place.
They also gave me 3 free green juices (maybe they could sense I ate fried chicken the night before?) but they didn’t taste so good, not even a little. I did some healthy damage at Trader Joe’s and lugged 2 very heavy bags back home. Then took 3 big bags of clothes from our cleaning frenzy Friday down to Buffalo Exchange to see what I could sell and donated the rest to Good Will. I made out pretty well and it felt really good to get rid of those size 2 pants I will never fit in again. I’ve been holding on to them for too long! Size 6/8 is working out just fine for me, thank ya very much 🙂
I’ll share what I’m eating this week and my new obsession from Trader Joe’s later this week! Feels good to blab on about my life to you all again! 🙂
How was your July 4th weekend?? Oh I also ate a hot dog on Friday too. John bought the all pork ones since I can’t have beef and it fulfilled a 3 year craving for me, on a nice white bun with ketchup and mustard. Mmmm the bad stuff!
AND- 29 days til Costa Rica. But who’s counting?!?! 😀